TOP 5: Worst Types of Achievements

This week in TOP 5 we’re going back to this blogs roots – achievements. For those of you out there that are the type to go out of your way to get every achievement (or Trophy, for my Sony-inclined readers), you’ve no doubt run into an achievement, or series of achievements, that you absolutely cannot stand. We’re going to rank the worst of the worst in pain in the ass achievements.

Glitched Achievements

#5: Glitched

Glitched achievements are ones that either don’t unlock when they’re supposed to or don’t unlock at all. They’re ranked low on this list because most glitched achievements will be patched at a later date, and may not always be a problem for everyone. However, when the achievements require a significant amount of work and you find out too late that there will be no reward for you, it’s only natural to get a little bit peeved.

Time Consuming

#4: Time-Consuming

These are the achievements that take just too damn long for any normal person to care about. Most notably are the “X Day Survivor” achievements in Dead Rising, which require you to play the game for, at minimum, 14 hours straight. Other achievements in this category don’t require a lengthy single session of gaming, but countless hours down the road. For instance, Rumbles Roses XX is stated to take a whopping 800 hours to complete.


#3: Collectibles

Collectibles in games, although time consuming, are a little devil all their own. Nearly every collectibles achievement is a pain in the ass, whether it’s to shoot 100 pigeons (Grand Theft Auto IV) or collect 2000 Spider-Man icons across Manhattan (Spider-Man: Web of Shadows). The worst part about collectibles is keeping track of which one’s you have. Games like The Saboteur show everything you need on your map, where as collecting all the hundreds of flags in Assassin’s Creed is left to those who are willing to give a little more dedication.


#2: Impossible

These achievements, like the glitched achievements, will not apply to everyone. However, the amount of people unable to get these is much, much larger. These are the achievements that require a miracle, or so much dedication you don’t have time to do much else. Think you’re good at Guitar Hero? Try getting 5 stars in every song on Expert. What about fighting games? Try finishing the challenges in Mortal Kombat vs DC or Street Fighter IV. Feel like throwing your controller through the TV? Yeah, me too.


#1: Multiplayer

Nothing comes close to the hatred I have for multiplayer achievements. Multiplayer isn’t just online either. Anytime you have to rely on another human being to get an achievement, that’s when you become completely fucked. Did you buy that game a couple of years after it came out? Too bad for you, the online servers were shut down. Didn’t buy the whole band set for Rock Band? Have fun missing out on 90% of the game. And let’s not forget games like Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter and Quake 4 which require you reach the top of the leaderboards, making it exponentially more difficult for the next person to get it.

One Comment

  1. Eeyup. I am not a fan of multiplayer as it stands and I don’t feel that my ‘grade,’ as it were, on a game should be based on how well I play with others.

    And especially not how well they play with me.


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